'Must read' Do’s and don’ts of having sex during coronavirus crisis

Making love in the time of the coronavirus lockdown is a health concern — but also a way to stay healthy.

Public health officials and experts are weighing in from all sides, advising in graphic detail what is and isn’t safe to do with sex partners during this pandemic. There’s been something of an infodemic of COVID-19-related sex guidelines, so here are all the key aspects in one place.

‘You are your safest sex partner’

According to the NYC Department of Health and Mental Hygiene’s memo on safer sex during the pandemic, masturbation is the best way to stop the spread and get it on.

“If you live alone, of course, you can take care of yourself,” Dr. Amir Marashi — a Brooklyn-based OB-GYN also known as the Vagina Whisperer — tells The Post. Phone sex, he adds, is also an option with a 0 percent transmission rate.

Smut-streaming services are offering free porn in this troubled time, with Pornhub opening up its massive porn library to viewers for free, in addition to donating 50,000 surgical masks to NYC-area health-care workers. If private dancers are more your speed, some strip clubs are offering virtual lap dances. Sex dolls are also a “naturally antibacterial” option, sellers say.

Don’t forget to treat yourself safely: Wash your hands and any sex toys with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex with yourself, NYC Health advises.

‘Have sex with people close to you’

The next-best thing for safely flattening the curve while staying sexually active is to have sex with someone you live with. “If you do have sex with others, have as few partners as possible,” the city memo advises, noting that these partners should live with you.

While reducing partner quantity is key, Marashi advises to increase the amount of sex you have in the name of staying sane. “If you’re staying at home in self-quarantine with your partner, one of the best ways to reduce the anxiety and other issues is just to have more sex,” he advises.

No kissing

Pretend you’re Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” — kissing is not allowed. A smooch may seem safe, but it’s in fact far more dangerous than many much dirtier deeds.

“It hasn’t been proven that the virus exists in semen or vaginal fluids, at least up to this point,” says Marashi, but COVID-19 most certainly can be spread through saliva.

That said, you don’t necessarily have to avoid kissing during sex with partners — just everyone else. “Avoid kissing anyone who is not part of your small circle of close contacts,” the health department warns.

If one half of a couple should become infected, they are most likely to transmit the coronavirus to their significant other through kissing, Marashi says.

No butt stuff

While it remains unknown if vaginal fluid and semen can transmit the virus, fecal matter definitely can.

“It’s proven that inside the stool, the virus can travel,” says Marashi, “so it’s very important to stay away from the anus.”

The health department specifically warns that “rimming (mouth on anus) might spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your mouth.” If you must, they say, use condoms during anal or oral sex.

Dating

Being homebound means more time to find a lover online and through dating apps — you’ll just need to wait a while before meeting up in person. A crop of new quarantine-specific dating options has popped up since the virus sent everyone into isolation, including a plebeian “Love Is Blind” equivalent on Instagram, a quarantine supper club and distantly crushing on Andrew Cuomo.

And the dating market is likely to be a lot different once the pandemic has passed, as divorce rates are jumping among coronavirus-quarantined couples.