For those that are patriotic, the troubled economy and a lack lustre presidency may feel like an emotional roller coaster. Ifeanyi Uba and Cosharis – Cosmos Maduka’s N21 Billion Pure Water Business and EFCC vs. Babalakin’s battle of wits were bywords at Bloke’s Café. There was a successive rise and drop in the noise from the power generator as the door opened and closed. The cosy atmosphere and the chilling breeze from the air conditioner provided a reprieve from reality.

Irrespective of what each person is served, nuisance positivism and the slow march by the Federal Government in a back-bench nation generated more than adequate discourse and laughter. Extra bottles, cans and glass refill of whatever, only provided fuel for more rigorous analysis and jibes at Dr Reuben Abati’s employer. Deadly salvos were fired at the President’s Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, and indeed, it would have been better if he borrowed a cue from some of our ‘do-nothing legislators’ – keep shut! There was nothing reported recently that suggested, ‘there is no rift between President Jonathan and former President Obasanjo’ like Dr Reuben wants us to believe.

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How on earth would any person with political foresight claim all is well between Goodluck and Obasanjo just because the former regarded the latter as a father and calls him Baba? Na today? We’ve been in this valley long enough to know when Baba is not laughing. Obasanjo’s way is more of sarcasm and Dr Reuben, as unstable as water, would only be acting out his name as described in Genesis 49:4 in the Holy Bible, just in case he doesn’t know. What could make Baba leave the chair of PDP BOT when he still dey kampe? If Goodluck’s handlers understand what reconnaissance is in the military, then they would look deeply into Obasanjo’s Gangnam style dance at Ghana recently. This is instructive.

Soon after the fund-raiser for a mosque project at his presidential library, which was well attended by political heavyweights even from the core north, Obasanjo began a strategic political tour of the East on the invitation of Chief Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, the publisher of Champion newspaper and a PDP stalwart. The commencement of the tour wasn’t without a jab at the president over his handling of insecurity insurgency at a religious gathering in Warri. Jonathan made a poor attempt at docking the punch by pointing to Obasanjo’s expedition at Odi, Bayelsa State and Baba’s Rottweiler that was in charge of the Aviation Ministry at a time bared shiny canines at Aso Rock.

Even without the influence of alcohol, it is proper to speculate that the face-off between OBJ and the powers that be may be one of the reasons why Dr Wale Babalakin, a close ally of OBJ, became a target.

I perceive our elites often feel we are enjoying their drama of absurdity. The Presidency suddenly discovered that Lagos/Ibadan expressway was in a bad shape, thus cancelled Babalakin’s Bi-Courtney Highway Services concession contract due to non-performance and Babalakin’s money laundering case file with the EFCC suddenly surfaced. The drama continued at LUTH where medical staff prevented fully armed security men from arresting Dr Wale Babalakin. How is this possible in Nigeria of today? The script goes further; after 20 days hibernation in LUTH, despite security operatives’ vigil at LUTH, Dr Wale Babalakin was said to have reported voluntarily at the anti-corruption agency’s office; got charged to court and was released on bail unruffled. Rather than sell us the ‘all is well’ hogwash, it would be honourable if Dr Reuben admit that Aso Rock emissaries at Ota Farms have made some progress following Otunba Fasawe’s footsteps, and lowering the heat on Dr Babalakin is part of the ruse. Laughter made someone jerk involuntarily at the table and a bottle of Lager beer rolled over. We care less about the foaming pool of beer and glass splinters all around this noble parliament because the joke is on you – Dr Reuben Abati. A member of the house who was under influence made a scathing remark about the sum of the President’s and Abati’s PhD, which ended in a funny algebra – 20 cans of Malta Guinness is not equal to a bottle of Guinness Extra Stout.

With the understanding that a boozer’s excitement is contagious, I beckoned to the waiter for a bottle of soft drink as I settled in front of the flat screen TV and my eyes caught the News Flash ‘Osaze Odemwingie attack Coach Stephen Keshi and NFF. I pondered on Osaze’s lack of character and Keshi’s inability to play down his ego. Bottom line, the nation is the loser. I am on Keshi’s side based on obvious beef for Osaze’s role at doing Chelsea in at the 12th week fixtures of the English Premiership. Nigeria’s Osaze Odemwingie was the match winner in West Brom’s 2-1 victory over Chelsea.

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It started with Shane Long’s 10th minute opener, but Chelsea came back in the game, with Eden Hazard crossing the ball to Aziplicueta, who in turn crossed it back to the Belgian whose head shot took a deflection on Jones for the equaliser. Albions’ keeper Boaz Myhill did a lot to deny Chelsea the opportunity of getting something out of the game with Osaze nailing the Di Matteo coffin. In the game which had three Nigerian internationals on the pitch, Odemwingie headed home Shane Long’s cross after evading David Luiz in the 51st minute to secure an upsetting win for the Baggies over Chelsea.

Osaze and Victor Moses were on for the entire duration of the game for West Brom and Chelsea respectively, while Mikel Obi was substituted for Ramires in the 82nd minute.

Rather than be bothered about Odemwingie’s behaviour, Keshi should have considered how his team would leverage on the talents of this West Bromwich Albion’s striker. If this is our Mario Balotelli, then let the Coach learn how to safely squeeze the poison out of the scorpion. Who cares if Odemwingie is demanding for 20 captain’s armbands? All we care about is his sting at the Nations Cup finals in South Africa. Keshi missed the fact that there is a bit of Obasanjo in Odemwingie. He should pray Odemwingie doesn’t have the last laugh.