Oxford dictionary defined rivalry as competition for the same objective or for superiority in the same field. If the synonym of rivalry is competition, then isn’t that what life is about?

As we age and experience the real world, we find ourselves competing with other individuals for certain positions and titles. It happens in our classrooms, our jobs and other different areas of life.

Meanwhile, while there might be such thing as healthy rivalry, there are some that are dangerous, risky and negative. A typical example is rivalry in the family, especially among the children.

There are siblings who compete with each other or one another for basic entitlements in their family, entitlements such as parent’s love and attention. The basic reason for such situation is favoritism and preferential treatment of one child over another. When one child is loved, cherished and showered with gifts over the other children, it creates envy and rivalry amongst them. In some families, there is something such as “daddy’s girl” and “mummy’s boy”. The children are made to believe that certain parent loves one gender more than the other, and this can cause emotional damage in the children.

Rivalry amongst the children also happens when one child is the most intelligent and fruitful than the other children. The child comes home with the best grades and does everything right in different areas, then the parents pay more attention and shower such child with more love and attention than the other children. However, the other children will tend to feel unappreciated and less loved. In the long run, it can then affect their self esteem and self worth which in turn can make them seek love and attention in the wrong places or even make them nurse hate and envy for the “loved child” and their parents.

It is not a denial of fact that the main cause of rivalry has a lot to do with the parents. Parents who do not know how to handle their emotions for their kids end up creating enmity in their homes, which may refuse to go away even after the parents’ demise.

Infact, this enmity are mostly nursed secretly and would only surface after the death of either or two the parents.

Every child should be loved and treated equally regardless of their weakness and strengths. No child should ever have to feel unloved or less loved over another.

Children tend to nurse such feelings till adulthood, which in turn causes more harm than good. We have seen grown siblings who cannot stand one other and have glaring hatred for themselves.

In most cases, this must have been nursed from childhood and it is the responsibility of the parent to handle these situations as fast as possible before it blossoms.