It’s no longer uncommon to see government appointees embroiled in social media banter, but it seems one commissioner is standing out with his elevated level of engagement.
Taking a peaceful stroll through Elon Musk’s platform, popularly known as X, I decided to take a detour and see the cause of the commotion that was suddenly gathering momentum and a crowd.
Also read: Tokunbo Wahab – making the case for deploying round pegs in round holes
And bam! I realised that the Lagos Commissioner for Environment and Water Resources, Tokunbo Wahab, was the one in the kitchen, and the moment I saw what he was cooking, I knew I had to plaster.
Please stay with me.
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It all started when a Nigerian social media influencer, let’s call him Lola Okunrin, decided to take a swipe at the ruling party one day.
“APC is a curse to Nigeria. Their ideology, their style, the people, the party culture, all curse,” Mr Realist wrote.
Of course, the post, as expected, was swamped by his numerous followers of almost 120k. Both friends and foes came calling, dropping either their fuel or sticks to ensure the fire cooking the All Progressives Congress stakeholders didn’t die.
Out of the blue, a government supporter, let’s call him Prince Adeshina, dug into the book of remembrance and reminded Mr Realist that the same party he was criticising made it possible for him to find love.
Adeshina’s receipts showed Mr Realist and his fiancée in a romantic photoshoot with an APC government-initiated BRT bus as the major prop. See attached receipt.
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Undeterred, Lola Okunrin had a savage comeback.
“Kukute, aren’t you the boy in the video standing in front of a politician, telling him you stopped Reno Omokri and Obidients on Twitter? Walahi, you are really cursed.
“I didn’t even pay you the usual 500 Naira for 3 tweets to post my pre-wedding pictures. You did it for free again. 💃” Lola Okunrin wrote.
For clarity, “Kukute” is a Yoruba word for a stunted log of wood, and in this case, Mr Realist used it to insensitively describe Adeshina as a short man. See the video he was referencing below.
Anyway, back to the story. Please stay with me; I know this is long, but we’ll get there soon.
Then, out of nowhere, someone named Umaru with just an annoying 46 followers landed a 2×3 plank on Lola Okunrin’s head.
“But Oya werey gan sha. If not that you no get levels, why you go dey do pre-wedding shoot inside BRT?
“Omo eru wey dey loud!” said Umaru Ur.
Simply translated, Umaru was saying that Mr Realist is so ridiculous for having his pre-wedding shoot inside a BRT bus, tagging him a stylish slave.
As we already knew, no one touches Lola Okunrin without a response.
“Ode. You thought I used BRT because it’s fine 😂. Nobody fit senseless pass you for life.
“Let me explain. I met my wife inside BRT and we decided to take it back to where it all started. Are we not romantic 🥰 😍😍” he clapped back.
I was already getting bored with their banter, and just as I was about to turn the corner and continue my stroll peacefully, I saw a mob rushing in the direction of Lola Okunrin’s corner.
What happened again? My mind started racing, and that was when I saw it; the Honourable Commissioner had finally broken the table like AOB!
“This is quite inspiring and this is what Lagos State stands for – nurturing dreams, hopes, aspirations, and romantic moments as the case may be. I hope the exact BRT bus hasn’t been burnt during the 2020 EndSARS protest? However, when you pick your wedding date, kindly extend an invite to me. We’ll ensure some BRT buses are made available to convey your guests at no cost. Congratulations bro. All the best!” TW wrote.
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So, I’m a little bit confused. Was that a straight sucker-punch or a compliment?
Or is it at this point I say, “Honourable Commissioner, please off the mic!”
No doubt, it was quite entertaining! Who says governance should be boring?
Ojelabi, the publisher of Freelanews, is an award winning and professionally trained mass communicator, who writes ruthlessly about pop culture, religion, politics and entertainment.